10 Tips On How/Ways To Build Self Esteem

Self esteem and ones self worth and how you perceive them will change throughout your life. A specific incident can be a trigger can (or for no reason at all) result in low self esteem and to feel bad about yourself. This though is normal and even healthy if it doesn’t last long and is not necessarily a true account of your self esteem (it is not healthy or possible to feel consistently wonderful about yourself).

Let’s take a specific example that happens often, you are not feeling one hundred percent (you are tired, stressed at work and have a headache coming on etc.) and you snap at a friend who doesn’t deserve it. Then you feel bad about it for a few days after. Do you have low self esteem? Not necessarily. Does it mean you have to apologise to your friend? Yes, because apologising for careless actions/treatment of others invariably makes one feel better about one’s self (unless of course you make a habit of consistently treating people poorly, in which case low self esteem is a basis of a bunch of other problems).

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Owning up to your actions will remind you how important it is to be kind and loving, whether you feel like it or not. We have all made mistakes and apologised and have felt better afterwards.

However, if you feel worthless, sad and unhappy about yourself more than you fell good and content, then you may have low self esteem. If you don’t feel valued as a person signs such as over-eating, smoking, drinking or just treating yourself poorly may manifest. This is a downwards spiral that will blot your life and effect those around you, your family, colleagues, friends and even your acquaintances.

There are some simple steps/tips that can allow a person to gain greater self esteem. Accepting that you suffer from low self worth is a fantastic start and accepting that there are issues to be resolved is the first step to cracking the problem. Below are ten ways to build self esteem.

1. Be Generous

Volunteer your time, talents and energy to help groups and individuals. Giving time to others and seeing positive feedbacks creates a warm glow of satisfaction and allows you to feel included.

2. Be Brave

If you have always wanted to go to Venice or visit your local gallery and haven’t found anyone to go with, Go alone, you will find you meet people along the way who have similar interest and are in the same position.

3. Be Goal Orientated

If you step two seems a little daunting don’t worry you can build up to a big overseas trip. Take baby steps and set smaller goals to achieve a bigger aim. You can for example go for dinner alone to a restaurant or take a short road trip locally to build up to a bigger adventure.

4. Be Bold

Make eye contact with people. If you treat a person in the lift or on the bus as a friend, smile, nod or wish them a pleasant day: you will find yourself pleasantly surprised by the response.

5. Be Creative and Expressive

You have a passion or want to learn a new skill. It is time to follow through on that desire; take a class be it painting, sculpting or photography.

6. Be Happy

It is time to take life a little less seriously. It is time to lighten up and appreciate a softer and funnier side to life. It is time to laugh, watch a funny movie, hang out with goofy friends that you thought were a bit silly or see a stand-up comedian (hell why not try stand-up comedy yourself at you local club!).

7. Be Positive

Don’t be a martyr and spend your time with people who drain, sadden or deflate you (they have their own problems – your are trying to help yourself). It is time to be around positive people who make you feel good, appreciated and valued.

8. Be Complimentary and Forthcoming
   
   

It is time to be more open and tell people when you enjoy their company (yes, they may know this already but telling them so is a lot better), the discussion you just had or the dinner that they have just cooked. Never be afraid to compliment good work, nice dress or great company. It creates a glow of positive energy and will make everyone happy.

9. Be Out Going and Say “Yes” More Often

Don’t be a wall-flower any longer. Life is passing you by and you can never get it back. Say “yes” more often. Go to parties, concerts and places other people congregate. The more you go the more you will find people will ask. You are creating a positive cycle of happiness that will increase your self esteem.

10. Be Yourself

Always be truthful and give genuine thoughts and opinion, in the knowledge that you will not always get on with everybody. This is just life and the way things are.

AND NOW FOR A BONUS TIP!

BE A GOOD LISTENER

Too many people never really listen in a conversation; when the other person is talking they are thinking of what to say next. Hear people when they speak, be open minded, reflective and then give a considered response. You will find that people will value your opinion more, will seek it out and will therefore be a big boost to your esteem.

In Conclusion 

Life is there for the taking if you take time, breathe and check yourself now and then to asses your position and how other people perceive you. Remember to be open, positive and complimenting and you will receive positive feedback in kind. It is time to trust that you know what is best for you and to take yourself out of that comfort zone you have let yourself get into. It is time to explore new challenges, places and meet new people. You will find not only that your self esteem is raised dramatically but you will be a lot less conscious of this fact or feel the need to judge yourself.